Thin Ice;

Its only a matter of time - 500 years

I for one, don't agree in the least bit that it's just like that. like that-the end. period. no. sigh. didn't get to post yesterday cos firstly, i was damn tired and thoughts were all jumbled up in my head, simply didn't have the freaking energy to attempt to organize my thoughts. secondly, there ayz was, rushing me to turn off the comp. yeah i know i should get off and sleep, what with the whole long week of dance ahead. (not that i'm complaining, of course) :D compared to hellhole, dance is pure heaven.

shit, lost all the mood to post.

alright, shall start with nicolette.

just got the (final) phone call from her. can't say i have no regrets. cos i do. thats the thing about this damned world. anyway, 'll miss you truckloads! you were there for me, but i wasn't always. :x but now's not the time for regrets. i'll remember the great times. bon voyage! love you!

it's like i'm blind. what charlene said was true love IS blind. i've learnt to see past the flaws since, but you, of all people should know that time is needed. for now, the status still stays. but i should have known. how could i be so stupid? and i thought you were different. too naive, i thought wrong. just the stereotyped. sigh.

feeling lonely, left out, does not necessarily means that you are literally alone.

Sticks and stones are hard on bones

Aimed with angry art,
Words can sting like anything
But silence breaks the heart.
~Phyllis McGinley, "Ballade of Lost Objects," 1954

not as in really silence, though. the whole world may be buzzing with noise, laughter, chatters, filling up the void of the background, and you can still feel alone. i hope nobody needs to feel this kind of ache, ever.

i changed, i forgot to tell you.

do i care? must i care? why do i care? hello, the last time i heard, thins went two way. both ways, geddit? i'm tired of trying to seondguess everyone's move, trying to stand in other's shoes and look through their eyes, what they think. all this guessing, all this being nice, all this controlling, i have alot more to do. my life is complicated. more so than you ever thought. but you don't know that, do you? i don't care. what will we get in return? secondguessing, it's driving me crazy. things in the hellhole already aren't good. all this, all this nonsense and shit, i'm gonna lose my sanity. help!

if you were thinking, yeah, it's because of you

because of you - kelly clarkson

I will not make the same mistakes that you did

I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery

I will not break the way you did

 You fell so hard

I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

 Because of you

I will never stray too far from the sidewalk

 Because of you

 I learned to play on the safe side

So I don't get hurt

Because of you

I find it hard to trust

Not only me, but everyone around me

 Because of you

I am afraid

I lose my way

And it's not too long before you point it out

I cannot cry

Because I know that's weakness in your eyes

 I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh

Every day of my life

My heart can't possibly break

When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you

I will never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of you

I learned to play on the safe side

So I don't get hurt

 Because of you

I find it hard to trust

Not only me, but everyone around me

Because of you

 I am afraid

I watched you die

I heard you cry

Every night in your sleep

I was so young

You should have known better than to lean on me

You never thought of anyone else

You just saw your pain

And now I cry

In the middle of the night

 For the same damn thing

 Because of you

I will never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of you

I learned to play on the safe side

So I don't get hurt

Because of you

I tried my hardest just to forget everything

Because of you

 I don't know how to let anyone else in

Because of you

 I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty

 Because of you  I am afraid

Because of you

Because of you