Thin Ice;

I'm only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
Inside of me
Inside me
Yeah, inside me
Inside of me

I'm only a man
In a funny red sheet
I'm only a man
Looking for a dream

I'm only a man
In a funny red sheet
And it's not easy, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm...

Its not easy to be me

I don't know where to start. so many things, new discoveries and findings, new light, hope, especially towards the end of the day. to (try to) avoid leaving anything out, i shall blog in chronological order, as usual.

slept at after one the night before, cos i couldn't fall asleep. excitement, i suppose. the night before a long awaited dance practice or performance, i get so hyped up that i can never get a whole night's rest. woke up at six the next morning, rushed round and met rachel at mac. managed to escape the house with hone with me. don't ask. long story.

bro arrived ten minutes after she left, went to mac for breakfast. bad way to start a dance day, i swear you can totally see the horryfying amount of oil (or butter as my bro claims) on the muffin. after that, read for about an hour before taking the train to meet jinglin at clementi. went to subway cos she wanted to have her breakfast, then i helped her tie hair. waited for ages, finally on our way to dance.

Dance.

started off with run:) laoshi's smile is magical. his very presence will make me happy. smiles are important, they can make my day so. sadly i'm not really one of a smiler. a smile a day keeps the hurt at bay.

some sec1s, not from dance, were there to increase the numbers for YOG. though it would help immensely if they learnt some bloody manners and basic respect. learnt diao yu, linked to mext year's performance. argh can't seem to get the hang of it. if there were to be auditions for this performance, i'm gonna be like the first one out.

next was lunch. thankfully, the new addition left. after lunch was rest and the usual stuff until laoshi came back. ps weiwen made us laugh instead of sleep. his stories are simply hilarious, down to the way he says them. then, we did open house. clean forgotten everything ooops:x finished the dance, debriefed, light pumping, dismissed. left for pa with sining, misa, pearlynn, terence, yuren, brendon, kevin and jianbin. darly was with us too. before that, though, we went to some marketplace at clementi to have dinner. daryl's nice, despite some immature comments.:) i'm trying hard to not get swayed by other people's comments and what they think. peer pressure and such. enough lessons learnt about how these won't get me anywhere good, not at all. anyway, lousy attempt of mine to drown the entire bottle of water and claiming i wasn't hungry, really (but it's true!) didn't deter pearlynn from making me eat. dang, i hate it when i'm short on cash. train-ed to lavender. i really treasure and enjoy conversations like that, somehow there is much light shed and we seem o get to the root of the problem, and at least manage to find/brainstorm a suitable solution for the situation. or is this just me? maybe it is, probably form having endless useless discussions with AAs who can't stop bickering over miniscule notions all the time instead of looking at the big picture. sigh.

did i mention that we were horrendoulsy late? apologies to everyone waiting for us:x

anyway, newfound love for the trampoline! :D love the adreline rush when i'm shooting skywards, love the apprehensive feeling i get when i'm about to land.

train-ed home, another light shedding (not exactly for us) throughout the journey. i never knew that people felt the way i did, cos many of whom i hang out with seem to always think i'm some sadist freak interested in machoism.

*Lesson 1) I have near zilch tolerance foe tardiness, therefore, obviously my patience would be unheard of too.

*Lesson 2) I have my limit, step over the line, and bang, you're dead.

*Lesson 3) Sometimes, people don't always act how they feel.

*Lesson 5) humans have feelings, after all. no matter how good they hide it (me included)

*Lesson 6) for the millionth time, i ain't a freaking slave/maid whatever. how naive of me to think that this sort of treatment would be confined to the four walls. well, i was wrong. bloody have some manners of you want favours, thanks. I don't belong to anyone, i'm no personal slave. last straw, i'm warning you.

everyone says their actions are for the best of everyone. how many actually mean it? who has ulterior motives behind every action, every move? look and choose carefully, for looks can be deceiving, so never judge a book by it's cover.

this was supposed to be a ranting post (again) but i decided that i'll be better off if i don't complain about every little detail. therefore i shall not elaborate on what i saw when i came home. don't need to explain here that it's bad. deja vu.

blogging gets things off my chest. i have to spam my endless thoughts here, with less care than in real life about what i decide to say, cos, afterall, it's my place. don't like it? no sweat. just leave. hopefully i don't hurt anyone (unintentionally or not)

Time is ticking, focus now.