Thin Ice;

I give up

It's over, no matter how much i wish it to be different. no matter, i knew deep down anyway. don't understand this life. not feeling like how i thought i should. and trying doesn't work when there's the majority, correction, the whole world, against you. no it doesn't vain hopes. knowing i did try, to me, is not good enough. i want things done. sadly, since things obviously aren't gonna work out the way it should (okay, in my opinion). still. shit now i sound like ris low.

EOYs are over, i suppose i'll start regretting when i get results on thursday. ces't la vie. can't help it. but it doesn't matter. now it's choices. really important decisions, it's gonna affect the next two years of my unimportant life. currently i'm at a loss. not just for subject combo, for everything. like when am i supposed to fake a smile? when am i supposed to laugh along. when can i go sit in a corner and stone, when can i just go somewhere like the black hole and die there. what the heck am i supposed to say. what the frickin hell am i supposed to do. see, i guess it all boils down to confidence and ego and what nots.

i don't think anyone will know what i'm ranting about. ignore me as you please:)